Sunday, October 17, 2004
The China Project
Misadventures, Driving China-style and Lightbulbs!
Our time in China had more than it’s share of humorous, strange and downright bizarre moments. They all contributed to making the trip even more memorable and interesting. Here are just a few of the highlights (and lowlights) that make China a place unlike any other!
(Note: You'll see an ad for Amazon.com on this site. All proceeds derived from Amazon.com in connection with worldvillage will be donated to the Guanlan Scholarship Fund)
**************************************************
Money, Sightseeing and Chinese Drivers!!!
Today is our last full day in Guangzhou and Professor Quiang had arranged for a day of sightseeing with some of the students.
But before we began we had a quick errand to run. Since many of our expenses here in mainland China had to be paid in cash, Vilma had brought a sizeable quantity of American Express Traveler's Checks. We were assured we would have no problem converting them into Chinese RMB. But as I have learned, in China, when they say no problem, expect complications. The first bank we visited couldn't handle the transaction because it was a branch (try to buy foreign currency in a U.S. branch bank!), so we went to the central office of the Bank of China. Vilma went in, I stayed with Zoe, the students and Professor Quiang. Forty-five minutes later, long after the van a/c had quit, Professor Quiang went in. Twenty minutes after that, they finally emerged, looking haggard, but with the transaction completed and 3 red and 2 black stamps on several onionskin forms. Although I won't bore you with all the details, suffice it to say, this simple transaction became as complicated as a corporate merger. (Vilma notes:" My passport picture is now part of the Bank of China's files. Unless you are a big-time criminal, don't try to do anything underhanded here; see the episode of Tom's failure to fasten a seatbelt.")
So nearly two hours after starting on our day of sightseeing, we finally got to our first destination, a museum of ancient Chinese artifacts. It was closed for repairs!We then headed for the Memorial of the Five Rams. It was open, but the parking lot is reserved for tourists whose tour is booked by travel agencies. So our driver dropped us off and for all I know drove around until he came back and picked us up. It speaks to the whole issue of how the Chinese view cars and where to put them. But more about that in a moment.
The memorial, is set atop a hill, and is a striking statue, nearly three stories tall. It depicts five rams holding sheaves of grain and symbolizes Guangzhou's history as a region blessed with bountiful crops and good luck. Legend has it the rams descended to earth and blessed the region. Since then Guangzhou has not known a time of want. It was impressive. We then headed back down the hill to meet our driver and find our way to lunch.
Now, a word about driving in China.
I've driven in Boston, Washington and New York. I've also driven in Israel, Guatemala, France, Italy and Germany. I consider myself reasonably competent behind the wheel and capable of handling most driving situations, but the thought of my trying to drive in China is one of my worst nightmares. It's only been on this trip, my third to China, that I can ride in a car here without breaking out in cold sweats and being convinced that I'm about to meet my maker.
It's not that the Chinese drive badly. In fact the drivers are remarkable. It's just that, despite the fact that there are clearly marked lanes, Chinese people, be they in a car, a bus, a truck, on a bicycle or a scooter, refuse to acknowledge the concept of staying in those lanes or giving anyone else the right of way. You have not lived (or come close to death) until you sit in a Chinese taxi and have the driver swing over into the opposing lane of traffic and see a three-ton bus bearing down on you! They seem to always find (well, almost always) a tiny opening to dart back into at the last moment. It is simply amazing and incredibly nerve-racking for those of us who view motorized vehicles as transportation rather than full size bumper cars.
And the pedestrians are just as bad (insouciant, says Vilma, who wants to acknowledge the fact that the custom seems to work). They'll step out in front of a bus with the absolute assurance of someone who knows that somehow they will not collide - and usually they don't.
Usually, but not always. As Vilma reminded me, accidents involving cars are the number 1 cause of death in China.
Great, instead of getting shots to prevent all kinds of exotic diseases, we should have just increased our life insurance!
Chinese Drivers, Traffic and the Police
I've talked about Chinese drivers. Chinese police are also interesting when it comes to traffic. They watch it, they don't direct it, don't try to manage it, the few police you see at big intersections just stand in the middle of the street and watch the traffic, that is, except for one.
We were just a few blocks from the Li's home when we came to one of those big intersections with smartly dressed policeman standing in the center. Well you know how you can look at someone and know that they're impressed with themselves. That was this guy. The light changed and our driver turned left, ahead of the oncoming traffic (typical move) and just as he was going past the policeman, the guy waves at us, points at me and orders us to stop! And when they say stop, it doesn't mean pull over, it means stop, so we did, right in the middle of the intersection, traffic all around us, horns blaring, and what was our infraction? I didn't have my seatbelt fastened! Okay, I admit I should have had it on, but this guy proceeds to hassle our driver, ask for all his identification papers and that's a lot of paperwork in China. We're still sitting in the middle of the intersection, the policeman then makes our poor driver get out of the car and come across the street. I'm worried, because it was my fault and even minor traffic offenses can cause one to lose their license in China. I didn't want to be responsible for the man losing his livelihood. Anyway, Mr. Li goes with him and a few minutes later they come back, get in the car and tell us everything's okay, our driver didn't get a ticket. It seems that the "impressed with himself" policeman saw me, an American without a seatbelt and remembered that he had "heard" that in American you went to jail for 7 days if you didn't have their seat belt fastened and why didn't the driver know that and make me buckle up!
Folks, I don't make this stuff up, this is China.
Toilets and Lightbulbs!
…………. They (the hotel in Guanting) were supposed to fix our toilet. When we returned from the school, they dropped Zoe and me at the hotel and Vilma and Hei lin went back to the office to debrief and work out some details for the next day. Zoe and I went upstairs, opened the door and immediately saw that no one had been in our room. The beds were still unmade, the trash hadn't been emptied and worst of all, the toilet hadn't been fixed.
Now since I don't speak Chinese, there was no way I could communicate anything to the front desk, although I think had I tried they would have realized I was upset. Zoe and I headed back to the office to tell Vilma, since these kinds of things drive her up the wall even more so than me. When Zhu heard what had happened, he immediately sent one of his people down to the hotel to try and solve the problem. This led to today's "only in China" moment.
As we were walking back to the hotel, we ran into the staff member who informed Vilma that they hadn't fixed the toilet because they couldn't get in the room. They couldn’t get in the room because I had the only key!
Okay, how were they supposed to fix it if they didn't have a key, why don't they have a master key, why am I not surprised? We got back to the hotel, Vilma talked to them and they offered to move us to another room where the toilet worked. Now this led to today's 2nd "only in China" moment. When we got to the new room, we noticed the light was out in the bathroom. We told the folks at the front desk and they said they'd fix it immediately. Since we were already in the room with the key, maybe it would actually get fixed. We need some bottled water for the next day, so I decided to run across the street and pick up some before we went to dinner. When I got back to the room I saw a man and one of the front desk ladies pushing a huge desk into our room. After they got it in, they then pushed it into the bathroom. She then went and got a chair to put on the desk.
You see they didn't have a ladder, couldn't reach the light and this was there solution. I stood there and watched this scene unfold with my mouth open. It got better when the chair was too wide to fit on the desk. After an animated exchange between the two, back downstairs they go. When they got back, they had a coffee table to put on top of the desk. And with that, using the ingenuity that had given the world gunpowder, fireworks, chopsticks and Confucius, we got the light bulb changed in our bathroom. And I will refrain from making any jokes about how many Chinese does it take to change a light bulb.
Of course Vilma, the old China expert is quite pleased, she says in the old days they wouldn't have offered to move us, denied there was a problem with the toilet and insisted that everything was fine.
I really do love this place!
Bureaucrats, Dinner and Dr. Seeberg
(Our first day in Linxia, two bureaucrats are assigned to “take care of us.”)
It was pretty clear these two guys didn't have a clue as to what to do with us. They had been instructed to take care of us and that's what they were doing. It didn't matter whether or not they did a good job, just take care of us. We left the park, visited a mosque, wandered the streets, whatever.
We suggested to them that we were fine and we'd meet them for dinner later, hoping they'd take the hint. Bureaucrats don't take hints; they do what they're told. What's worse, Vilma said she heard them talking and they're trying to figure out who to call from the Education Department to join us for dinner. They had settled on a guy they knew worked for Education. The only problem was, they weren't really sure what he did other than go to dinner with visiting delegations.
Great a bureaucratic diner!
It was finally time for dinner and they announced we were going back to the first hotel we had looked at when we arrived, the one with the blue glass, fake neon palm trees and bad toilets. Things are not looking promising. So we get to this hotel, Zoe and I are tired; Hei lin's trying to make small talk while we wait for the Education Department Diner.
And Vilma? Let's just say the look of her face indicated she was not a happy camper.
So the Education Department Diner shows up. This guy looks more like a bureaucrat that the first guy! Hei lin tries to introduce Vilma, but the EDD (Educational Department Diner) is looking for the menu.
This is not good.
My wife is one of the top scholars in her field having published two books, numerous articles and is well respected by her colleagues both in the United State and internationally. Plus, she's German and does not tolerate fools or bureaucrats well. Not a good idea to snub her, particularly when you invited her. I can feel the temperature dropping in the room.
Now EDD, he's ordering for us, and then ordering for himself. When he finishes, he starts talking to the other two bureaucrats and continues to ignore Vilma. At this point Zoe announces she has to go potty. Vilma excuses herself to take her and I figure maybe she'll cool off while she's out of the room.
Wrong!
When she walks back in, one look tells me I had better start collecting our things. Things were bad before she left, then she went to the hotel restroom, the same hotel where the toilets weren't clean in the rooms. Apparently the public restroom left a lot to be desired and Vilma mentioned it to the hostess. She told Vilma if she didn't like it she could always go outside!
Needless to say when she got back to the table, she was ready to blow. And of course EDD provided the match.
Speaking to Hei lin, still ignoring Vilma, EDD said he had changed the schedule. We wouldn't be going to one school on Saturday and one school on Sunday, we'd do them both tomorrow and forget about Sunday. Now you have to understand, it has taken months to work out these schedules with the universities, the school districts and other governmental agencies who in China, have to be involved in projects like these. In addition, the process of traveling to the locations, interviewing administrators, teachers, students and families can take the better part of the day. In the case of these two schools, scheduled agenda items guaranteed we'd be at each school all day. Did that matter to EDD? Not at all, he was more concerned about getting his order of lamb and steamed noodles.
Vilma, to her credit, didn't use the colorful parts of her considerable vocabulary to suggest to EDD what he could do with his schedule and where he could put it, rather she said she was tired, wanted to leave and we'd discuss it tomorrow.
Did EDD grab the lifeline he'd just been tossed?
Of course not, he just waded right away saying that doing the two schools was better and besides it was already arranged. Final straw! Do not tell my wife that you have a better way to do the project she's spent two years planning and you just heard about today. She will not respond well.
First I hear murmuring about "I've haven't been treated like this since the first time I came here 25 years ago..." followed by "who does he think he is.." followed by her standing up, and announcing we were leaving.
They were shocked!
They don’t know how lucky they were.
I made a point of escorting my wife out the door since I figured if I was between EDD and her, he had a 50-50 chance of making it out of the hotel in one piece. Mr. Li who really wasn't all that bad, followed us out, trying to ease the situation, poor Hei lin suggested we go back in and have some noodles with them and work it out, Zoe wants to know what's happening and why can't we have dessert and I'm running interference back to the car.
Anyway that was the fun part, things calmed down considerably after we got back to the hotel. Vilma gets on the phone with her colleague at the University, they go back and forth but in the end they see it her way. Mr. Li will take over things and make sure we get back on schedule.
And EDD?
He's probably still at the hotel eating.
**************************************
Stay tuned....more to come!
Misadventures, Driving China-style and Lightbulbs!
Our time in China had more than it’s share of humorous, strange and downright bizarre moments. They all contributed to making the trip even more memorable and interesting. Here are just a few of the highlights (and lowlights) that make China a place unlike any other!
(Note: You'll see an ad for Amazon.com on this site. All proceeds derived from Amazon.com in connection with worldvillage will be donated to the Guanlan Scholarship Fund)
**************************************************
Money, Sightseeing and Chinese Drivers!!!
Today is our last full day in Guangzhou and Professor Quiang had arranged for a day of sightseeing with some of the students.
But before we began we had a quick errand to run. Since many of our expenses here in mainland China had to be paid in cash, Vilma had brought a sizeable quantity of American Express Traveler's Checks. We were assured we would have no problem converting them into Chinese RMB. But as I have learned, in China, when they say no problem, expect complications. The first bank we visited couldn't handle the transaction because it was a branch (try to buy foreign currency in a U.S. branch bank!), so we went to the central office of the Bank of China. Vilma went in, I stayed with Zoe, the students and Professor Quiang. Forty-five minutes later, long after the van a/c had quit, Professor Quiang went in. Twenty minutes after that, they finally emerged, looking haggard, but with the transaction completed and 3 red and 2 black stamps on several onionskin forms. Although I won't bore you with all the details, suffice it to say, this simple transaction became as complicated as a corporate merger. (Vilma notes:" My passport picture is now part of the Bank of China's files. Unless you are a big-time criminal, don't try to do anything underhanded here; see the episode of Tom's failure to fasten a seatbelt.")
So nearly two hours after starting on our day of sightseeing, we finally got to our first destination, a museum of ancient Chinese artifacts. It was closed for repairs!We then headed for the Memorial of the Five Rams. It was open, but the parking lot is reserved for tourists whose tour is booked by travel agencies. So our driver dropped us off and for all I know drove around until he came back and picked us up. It speaks to the whole issue of how the Chinese view cars and where to put them. But more about that in a moment.
The memorial, is set atop a hill, and is a striking statue, nearly three stories tall. It depicts five rams holding sheaves of grain and symbolizes Guangzhou's history as a region blessed with bountiful crops and good luck. Legend has it the rams descended to earth and blessed the region. Since then Guangzhou has not known a time of want. It was impressive. We then headed back down the hill to meet our driver and find our way to lunch.
Now, a word about driving in China.
I've driven in Boston, Washington and New York. I've also driven in Israel, Guatemala, France, Italy and Germany. I consider myself reasonably competent behind the wheel and capable of handling most driving situations, but the thought of my trying to drive in China is one of my worst nightmares. It's only been on this trip, my third to China, that I can ride in a car here without breaking out in cold sweats and being convinced that I'm about to meet my maker.
It's not that the Chinese drive badly. In fact the drivers are remarkable. It's just that, despite the fact that there are clearly marked lanes, Chinese people, be they in a car, a bus, a truck, on a bicycle or a scooter, refuse to acknowledge the concept of staying in those lanes or giving anyone else the right of way. You have not lived (or come close to death) until you sit in a Chinese taxi and have the driver swing over into the opposing lane of traffic and see a three-ton bus bearing down on you! They seem to always find (well, almost always) a tiny opening to dart back into at the last moment. It is simply amazing and incredibly nerve-racking for those of us who view motorized vehicles as transportation rather than full size bumper cars.
And the pedestrians are just as bad (insouciant, says Vilma, who wants to acknowledge the fact that the custom seems to work). They'll step out in front of a bus with the absolute assurance of someone who knows that somehow they will not collide - and usually they don't.
Usually, but not always. As Vilma reminded me, accidents involving cars are the number 1 cause of death in China.
Great, instead of getting shots to prevent all kinds of exotic diseases, we should have just increased our life insurance!
Chinese Drivers, Traffic and the Police
I've talked about Chinese drivers. Chinese police are also interesting when it comes to traffic. They watch it, they don't direct it, don't try to manage it, the few police you see at big intersections just stand in the middle of the street and watch the traffic, that is, except for one.
We were just a few blocks from the Li's home when we came to one of those big intersections with smartly dressed policeman standing in the center. Well you know how you can look at someone and know that they're impressed with themselves. That was this guy. The light changed and our driver turned left, ahead of the oncoming traffic (typical move) and just as he was going past the policeman, the guy waves at us, points at me and orders us to stop! And when they say stop, it doesn't mean pull over, it means stop, so we did, right in the middle of the intersection, traffic all around us, horns blaring, and what was our infraction? I didn't have my seatbelt fastened! Okay, I admit I should have had it on, but this guy proceeds to hassle our driver, ask for all his identification papers and that's a lot of paperwork in China. We're still sitting in the middle of the intersection, the policeman then makes our poor driver get out of the car and come across the street. I'm worried, because it was my fault and even minor traffic offenses can cause one to lose their license in China. I didn't want to be responsible for the man losing his livelihood. Anyway, Mr. Li goes with him and a few minutes later they come back, get in the car and tell us everything's okay, our driver didn't get a ticket. It seems that the "impressed with himself" policeman saw me, an American without a seatbelt and remembered that he had "heard" that in American you went to jail for 7 days if you didn't have their seat belt fastened and why didn't the driver know that and make me buckle up!
Folks, I don't make this stuff up, this is China.
Toilets and Lightbulbs!
…………. They (the hotel in Guanting) were supposed to fix our toilet. When we returned from the school, they dropped Zoe and me at the hotel and Vilma and Hei lin went back to the office to debrief and work out some details for the next day. Zoe and I went upstairs, opened the door and immediately saw that no one had been in our room. The beds were still unmade, the trash hadn't been emptied and worst of all, the toilet hadn't been fixed.
Now since I don't speak Chinese, there was no way I could communicate anything to the front desk, although I think had I tried they would have realized I was upset. Zoe and I headed back to the office to tell Vilma, since these kinds of things drive her up the wall even more so than me. When Zhu heard what had happened, he immediately sent one of his people down to the hotel to try and solve the problem. This led to today's "only in China" moment.
As we were walking back to the hotel, we ran into the staff member who informed Vilma that they hadn't fixed the toilet because they couldn't get in the room. They couldn’t get in the room because I had the only key!
Okay, how were they supposed to fix it if they didn't have a key, why don't they have a master key, why am I not surprised? We got back to the hotel, Vilma talked to them and they offered to move us to another room where the toilet worked. Now this led to today's 2nd "only in China" moment. When we got to the new room, we noticed the light was out in the bathroom. We told the folks at the front desk and they said they'd fix it immediately. Since we were already in the room with the key, maybe it would actually get fixed. We need some bottled water for the next day, so I decided to run across the street and pick up some before we went to dinner. When I got back to the room I saw a man and one of the front desk ladies pushing a huge desk into our room. After they got it in, they then pushed it into the bathroom. She then went and got a chair to put on the desk.
You see they didn't have a ladder, couldn't reach the light and this was there solution. I stood there and watched this scene unfold with my mouth open. It got better when the chair was too wide to fit on the desk. After an animated exchange between the two, back downstairs they go. When they got back, they had a coffee table to put on top of the desk. And with that, using the ingenuity that had given the world gunpowder, fireworks, chopsticks and Confucius, we got the light bulb changed in our bathroom. And I will refrain from making any jokes about how many Chinese does it take to change a light bulb.
Of course Vilma, the old China expert is quite pleased, she says in the old days they wouldn't have offered to move us, denied there was a problem with the toilet and insisted that everything was fine.
I really do love this place!
Bureaucrats, Dinner and Dr. Seeberg
(Our first day in Linxia, two bureaucrats are assigned to “take care of us.”)
It was pretty clear these two guys didn't have a clue as to what to do with us. They had been instructed to take care of us and that's what they were doing. It didn't matter whether or not they did a good job, just take care of us. We left the park, visited a mosque, wandered the streets, whatever.
We suggested to them that we were fine and we'd meet them for dinner later, hoping they'd take the hint. Bureaucrats don't take hints; they do what they're told. What's worse, Vilma said she heard them talking and they're trying to figure out who to call from the Education Department to join us for dinner. They had settled on a guy they knew worked for Education. The only problem was, they weren't really sure what he did other than go to dinner with visiting delegations.
Great a bureaucratic diner!
It was finally time for dinner and they announced we were going back to the first hotel we had looked at when we arrived, the one with the blue glass, fake neon palm trees and bad toilets. Things are not looking promising. So we get to this hotel, Zoe and I are tired; Hei lin's trying to make small talk while we wait for the Education Department Diner.
And Vilma? Let's just say the look of her face indicated she was not a happy camper.
So the Education Department Diner shows up. This guy looks more like a bureaucrat that the first guy! Hei lin tries to introduce Vilma, but the EDD (Educational Department Diner) is looking for the menu.
This is not good.
My wife is one of the top scholars in her field having published two books, numerous articles and is well respected by her colleagues both in the United State and internationally. Plus, she's German and does not tolerate fools or bureaucrats well. Not a good idea to snub her, particularly when you invited her. I can feel the temperature dropping in the room.
Now EDD, he's ordering for us, and then ordering for himself. When he finishes, he starts talking to the other two bureaucrats and continues to ignore Vilma. At this point Zoe announces she has to go potty. Vilma excuses herself to take her and I figure maybe she'll cool off while she's out of the room.
Wrong!
When she walks back in, one look tells me I had better start collecting our things. Things were bad before she left, then she went to the hotel restroom, the same hotel where the toilets weren't clean in the rooms. Apparently the public restroom left a lot to be desired and Vilma mentioned it to the hostess. She told Vilma if she didn't like it she could always go outside!
Needless to say when she got back to the table, she was ready to blow. And of course EDD provided the match.
Speaking to Hei lin, still ignoring Vilma, EDD said he had changed the schedule. We wouldn't be going to one school on Saturday and one school on Sunday, we'd do them both tomorrow and forget about Sunday. Now you have to understand, it has taken months to work out these schedules with the universities, the school districts and other governmental agencies who in China, have to be involved in projects like these. In addition, the process of traveling to the locations, interviewing administrators, teachers, students and families can take the better part of the day. In the case of these two schools, scheduled agenda items guaranteed we'd be at each school all day. Did that matter to EDD? Not at all, he was more concerned about getting his order of lamb and steamed noodles.
Vilma, to her credit, didn't use the colorful parts of her considerable vocabulary to suggest to EDD what he could do with his schedule and where he could put it, rather she said she was tired, wanted to leave and we'd discuss it tomorrow.
Did EDD grab the lifeline he'd just been tossed?
Of course not, he just waded right away saying that doing the two schools was better and besides it was already arranged. Final straw! Do not tell my wife that you have a better way to do the project she's spent two years planning and you just heard about today. She will not respond well.
First I hear murmuring about "I've haven't been treated like this since the first time I came here 25 years ago..." followed by "who does he think he is.." followed by her standing up, and announcing we were leaving.
They were shocked!
They don’t know how lucky they were.
I made a point of escorting my wife out the door since I figured if I was between EDD and her, he had a 50-50 chance of making it out of the hotel in one piece. Mr. Li who really wasn't all that bad, followed us out, trying to ease the situation, poor Hei lin suggested we go back in and have some noodles with them and work it out, Zoe wants to know what's happening and why can't we have dessert and I'm running interference back to the car.
Anyway that was the fun part, things calmed down considerably after we got back to the hotel. Vilma gets on the phone with her colleague at the University, they go back and forth but in the end they see it her way. Mr. Li will take over things and make sure we get back on schedule.
And EDD?
He's probably still at the hotel eating.
**************************************
Stay tuned....more to come!
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